This time of year can be two-fold for many of us. As we begin a new year, most people begin looking ahead to see what they can do differently to be a better version of themselves. Some people, however, face this time with ambivalence. Perhaps it’s because they had to endure another family Christmas dinner unattached, or the lack of finances kept them from being the generous givers that so many have come to rely on. Some choose not to celebrate in any form or manner, which is also fine. But once we cross the threshold of a new year, we take inventory of what was, while we also plan for what is to come.
Now, since many of us take this time to make resolutions and create vision boards and because I love a list, here are a few suggestions to help you along in 2023!
- Respect Other People’s Time: Listen – the older I get, the more I realize that time is a valuable commodity. There’s a reason the old gangsters used to say, “Time is money.” I highly value my time and the time of others. It is impolite to disregard somebody’s else time. When people show up to a scheduled meeting late or stand you up altogether, that gesture speaks louder than words. Why? Because people make time for who they think deserve it. Oprah once told a story about her former trainer, Bob Greene, who called her out on her dismissal of his time. She constantly showed up late for her sessions until he let her know that his time also matters. He had other clients who also had time constraints. Well, Oprah listened and understood that a high life status doesn’t excuse anyone of disrespecting someone else’s time. The moral here? Take a lesson from Oprah – respect other people’s time – it will change your life.
- Be Intentional with Your Language and Actions: We have all been guilty of explaining to someone who has been hurt by our words or actions, just for us to turn around and say, “I didn’t mean it like that” or “That’s not what I was trying to convey.” Now, there are some people who have become quite adept at interpreting things how they see fit – you can enunciate until you’re blue in the face or carefully explain until the cows come home, and they will still “hear what they want to hear.” For most of us rationally thinking human beings, however, we can appreciate clarity. One of the books that changed my life is a book called The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer. In the book, Dyer focuses on the importance of living in the field of intention to help guide us and manifest the lives we want. In doing so, we must be intentional about the words we say and the actions we carry out daily. Words and actions have power – execute both carefully. Avoid saying things that will reinforce an undesirable circumstance. Instead, speak to what you would like to see and experience. Stop speaking negatively about others. This is essential. Intentionality is what dreams are made of.
- Respond – Don’t React: Commit yourself to being more Zen about everything. Okay – please understand that God hit me with this one first. For a long time, I was a reactor. Since becoming conscious of this fact, however, I am much better. Prayer helps. Yoga helps. Mindfulness helps. I am learning every day to stay on this path because life is a journey. The late Bob Proctor, whom I credit for opening my understanding about the Law of Vibration, once said (or quoted someone else who said): “There is always a space between every action – even if it’s a fraction of a millisecond, to decide how you’re going to respond.” This is true and it goes back to being intentional. Actions. Words. Be mindful of both. No matter what another person does, refuse to match bad energy. “What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.” – Ellen Glasgow. Enough said. Ashe.
- Cultivate Your Inner Peace: Don’t go through another year being unhappy with your career, relationship, or anything else that disrupts your peace. You are the designer of your destiny and the writer of your story. “You hold the pen.” – Lisa Nichols. If God lives in each of us and we are guided by His wisdom, doesn’t it make sense to embrace the co-creator inside of you? Outside influences are real. Things are bound to happen that are beyond our control. But we can control what is within us. Refusing to allow someone or someTHING to ruffle your feathers is an act of self-care. Remember, the only way that anyone or anyTHING can change your state of being is if you allow it. In that, you are giving them or it permission to dictate your actions. Giving anything that kind of power over you should be unacceptable. Whatever shift you need to make to have peace in your life this year, do it.
- Learn Something New: Make it your business to be a student of life. Be open to learning something on purpose. We are constantly learning new things, many of them by accident. But challenge yourself to seek knowledge or understanding about a topic that you know nothing about. There are so many things that I still don’t know. I will never know everything there is to know. It’s impossible. And it’s okay to utter the words, “I don’t know” – though some people would rather chew on rusty nails than to admit they don’t know something. One of the most brilliant professors I ever had left an impression on me – in part because he was knowledgeable about so many things, but also because he was not afraid to say, “I don’t know.” For years, my daughter thought I knew everything! She still asks for my help with a difficult crossword puzzle, but she now understands that there are limits to what Mommy knows. We learn a lot together! Learning is like cardio for the brain. Take up a new hobby. Learn a new language. Study a different philosophy of life. Whatever it is, I hope you can appreciate the magic in learning.
So, here’s to another year and a chance to show up in the world in a way that feels right for you. Be kind to yourself and forgive any shortcomings. Perfection doesn’t exist. Practice giving yourself some grace and extend it to others as well.
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