A couple of months ago, someone told me that 51 is the saddest age for women. The theory behind this is that women tend to anticipate turning 50 and reveling in that number for an entire year. Then, supposedly, the “high” wears off, and they realize that they are forging full speed ahead into their senior years. Now, being someone who is careful about what I “receive” or accept as truth, I took those words with a grain of salt. I just thought to myself, Hmmm… I’ve never heard this one, but it’s interesting how these weights are always given to women. Then, I thought about how utterly ridiculous this belief or idea is and how I planned to purposely make 51 my best year ever!
When I turned 50 last year, I embraced it with my whole self – body, mind, and soul. I anticipated my 50th birthday with more excitement than any other milestones in my life. Because let’s face it – 50 is a big deal. It is the half century mark, and I owned the title of #bicentennialbabe. I proudly sported my Hello 50 shirt and boldly defended my age, even when people on the street argued to the contrary.
(Me – 50 and Fabulous!)
Although it’s flattering to some women to be told they look younger than they are, I can understand what Angela Bassett means when she says that she does not take “you look good for your age” as a compliment. See this blog post that I wrote about one of Hollywood’s finest!
That said, I don’t take offense to someone telling me that I don’t look like I’m 50. I tell my mature friends and associates that they don’t look their ages either. But what of this? Who defined or set the bar for how middle-aged women should look? Granted, I think that we have evolved as a group (women I mean). When we learn better, we do better. Over time, we learn what works and what doesn’t. We learn to accentuate our attributes, if you will, and do whatever it takes to look and feel our best. I want to emphasize the latter. Too many people focus on what’s on the outside, while neglecting what’s on the inside and their overall health and wellness. Looking good is important – a fact that we can all agree on. But feeling good is atop my list these days.
When it comes to how we move in this world, we should never let others define us based on their definitions and beliefs. We, and only we, have the power to write our own definitions of who we are and what we are. I am NOT staring down 51 with the side eye. I am anticipating it with just as much exhilaration as ever! That number means that I am still here, and my future looks bright!
As I lean into these golden years, I am forever grateful and happier than ever! I am what my friends and I call, GROWN-grown! I feel more alive and in control of my destiny now than I did 20 years ago. If I can tell my younger sisters (the queens under 40) a secret – it would be this: Babies, fasten your seatbelts – you are in for a wonderful ride! It only gets better!
No one can ever age shame you again.
No one can ever make you feel like the “old” one in the group.
No one can ever make you feel like you are not “hip” enough for their clicks.
No one can ever make you feel like you are over the hill.
Because once you are beyond 40, you will be at the pinnacle of womanhood, and your journey is about to be kicked into high gear!
I ain’t scared of those 51 candles! I am ready for another zestful year of life!
Leave a Reply