To Talk to Thyself or Not Talk to Thyself – That Is the Question

About a year ago, I was driving along talking and laughing – just having a good old time. Suddenly, I hear a voice from the back seat of the car say: “I don’t know whyyyyy you like talking to yourself.”

I looked in the rearview mirror and caught a glimpse of my daughter as she rolled her eyes upward and shook her head.

The look on her face as she said those words still cracks me UP!

I’m guessing that she couldn’t let another minute pass without acknowledging the elephant in the room.

I talk to myself.

The gag is – my siblings and I used to chuckle in the back seat of the car when my father did the same thing. We thought he was a little strange because he would talk to himself. All. The. Time. Guess who’s walking in those shoes now?

As someone who lived alone for 14 years of my life (from age 22-36), I eventually had to succumb to the inevitable reality of having conversations all by my lonesome. If you live alone, there is simply no way around talking to yourself. At all.

It makes me wonder, though. Does living alone drive people to converse with themselves? I mean, have we always wanted to talk to ourselves and other people just got in the way? Hmmm.

That’s a question for the ages. Kind of like the chicken and the egg example. Maybe not. But you get my point.

Like many others who have been in my shoes, talking to myself happened through osmosis. It started off with things like:

What should I have for dinner today?

I am soooo tired (as I stretch and yawn).

I do NOT feel like going to work today.

What is this on my shoe?

These are all harmless phrases that anyone is likely to utter. That’s how it starts, though. Before long, you progress to the next stage of throwing your head back and laughing when you read a funny line in a book or hear something funny on TV. Then you start saying stuff like:

No he didn’t!

Can you believe?

She ain’t got no sense!

LOL! That reminds me of the time when. . .

And before you know it, you have gone into a whole relatable story as you laugh until your side hurts.

That became my norm. And if you live alone, it probably sums up your days as well. I’m no expert on human behavior, but I do know that it is perfectly normal to talk to yourself.

At this point, some of y’all are probably thinking, No, ma’am, I don’t talk to myself. Not me. Nooooo way!

Me – as I give you some serious side eye:

We all do it. Some of us more than others. Most people are too embarrassed to let anyone know. But why?

The real question is, how did talking to yourself get such a bad rap in the first place? Why did we grow up thinking that people who talk to themselves have to be weird or “crazy?” We used to throw that word (“crazy”) out there haphazardly, especially when we saw June Bug walking down the street talking to himself. Now that we know better and respect mental illness awareness, it just ain’t cool.

That said, I’m here to normalize talking to yourself. And no mental health professional on earth would disagree with me either.

Don’t get me wrong, though. There are levels to this. All self-talk is not created equal. Sometimes, you might think you’re talking to other people who can’t even hear you. News flash – you’re talking to yourself!

Exhibit A: Road rage.

You:

Get outta the way!

What are you DOING?

And my personal favorite – Would you DRIVE? UGH!!!

Now, who hasn’t yelled at the guy doing 110 on the expressway (when the limit is 55) swerving in and out of lanes – too stupid to realize that he could kill his own fool self – let alone 10 other people? This kind of yelling? Totally justifiable. Back to my point. As you give him a verbal lashing, just remember that he (because it is always a “he” – fight me) CANNOT hear you! So, who did you just yell at? I’ll answer that. Your! Self!

You might even talk to yourself when someone else has made you upset. The person is no longer in front of you, but it doesn’t stop you from going in.

Exhibit B: Smack talking.

You:

Baaaaby, if she would have said ONE MO word to meeeeee, I would have knocked her out!

Yeah. You better walk away.

That’s what I thought!

And my personal favorite in this category is when someone turns away quickly after staring at you – What you lookin’ at?

Okay, so maybe this is only my sister and not everybody. She’s nice. Just don’t stare at her. Or you might get this:

My last example and unarguable proof that all people talk to themselves?

Exhibit C: The pep talk

Come on, Jackie – you got this!

Keep your head in the game, baby.

You can do it!

Stay focused!

And my personal favorites – the affirmations that you recite every morning.

I am beautiful!

I am intelligent!

I am a go-getter!

I am wealthy! I am healthy! I am wise!

 

You.                    Are.                Talking.                 To.                  Yourself.

 

Yup! Embrace it! You will feel so much better. You might even smile just thinking about your newfound freedom!

Now that you have the green light to talk to yourself, please enjoy it! Or don’t. Who will know how you feel about it anyway? No one will be there to judge you. Isn’t life grand?

Have a great day! Thanks, I will!

 

Oops – it happened again. Darn it!