“Everyone is subject to a series of patterns, universal laws, tides, and currents – all of which are somewhat predictable. YOU are the first time that YOU have ever happened. YOU and NOW are a unique occurrence of which are the most reliable measure of all the possibilities.”
– Will Smith
(NPR)
This has become one of my favorite quotes. It just reminds me that no matter how many other people are doing what I am setting out to do, none of them are me. I am the first time that I have ever happened! How powerful is that?
Will Smith is a larger-than-life mega star, who has captivated audiences for decades. It started in the 80s when he, along with Jazzy Jeff, his fellow Philly homeboy and friend, gave us some unforgettable musical magic. He then conquered television and movies with a seemingly effortless energy.
There is something enchanting about people telling their own stories. You can sense the courage it takes for them to disclose each detail about private moments they never imagined they would be sharing with the world.
I have always loved reading and watching a good autobiographical account of someone’s life and Will Smith’s memoir did not disappoint.
*Spoiler Alert*
Smith’s book, which is simply titled, Will – is the best memoir that I have ever read. I chose to listen to the audio version of the book, which to me is the only way to get the full-on experience of his musical and movie star journey. Smith incorporates music in the audio version, which takes the listeners back in time and holds us there, reliving those carefree days of early hip-hop.
He talks about his upbringing in North Philadelphia with his siblings and parents, a militant father and schoolteacher mother. Smith describes the cool feeling of having a lion as a father but shares that it was a double-edged sword because sometimes the lion would bite him. Smith spent his early years being afraid. So much so, that he would deem himself a coward, almost afraid of his own shadow. This is in stark contrast to the alien annihilating action hero that we have all come to love over the years. To get to this point, he created a persona, whom Smith’s therapist called Mr. Fluffy – an alter ego that Smith created to shield the scared little boy inside.
This book is full of gems – powerful idioms that will inspire just about anyone to pursue their wildest dreams. It is the perfect book to read at the beginning of a new year. There are many stories that are captivating, to say the least. One that stands out is how Smith almost allowed fear to cheat him out of the life changing role as the lead character in the show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
(IMDb)
In March of 1990, Quincy Jones invited Smith to his home for his birthday party. It was the middle of the week, and everybody who was anybody in Hollywood was at Jones’ house that night. Smith was aware that Jones wanted him for the part of the lead in a show that he had pitched to the network, but he was unaware that Jones would expect him to do an impromptu reading of the script. At the party. In front of the big wigs of the TV network. I know, right?
In his excitement, Jones kept running around repeating his then mantra, “No paralysis through analysis!” He commanded that the furniture be moved so the man of the hour could do his thing front and center. Smith nervously asked to speak to Jones in private and tried his best to get out of it. He declined and said that he needed time to prepare – a week to be exact. I imagine that many of us might have also tried to prolong this agonizing performance.
Jones told him that he could wait a week, but the NBC exec who was at the party that night would likely be called away to a set in Canada the next week and wouldn’t be able to see him. Then he said in two weeks, he would probably be hemmed up at recital at his child’s school because his wife wouldn’t hear of him missing another one. The more Smith tried to back out and extend the time, the more Jones closed in on him. Jones gave Smith several scenarios in his attempt to get Smith to see that he was about to squander this once in a lifetime opportunity. The two of them did this dance until Jones finally said, “Everybody who has the power to greenlight this project is in that other room right now.”
Suddenly, Smith got the message: It was now or never. What happened next was described as kismet. The execs loved it and a deal was signed that night. In just a few short months, the world would see Smith on the small screen in the leading role that changed the trajectory of his life. The show may have never happened if he allowed fear to keep him from reading that script in front of a crowded room that night. This is one of the many lessons that Smith shares with his readers.
Listening to Smith recount the details of his life is like going on an unexpected but exciting journey. Although it’s exhilarating to hear someone talk about the wonderful things that made them who they are, listening to someone like Smith share some of the darkest times in his life puts things in perspective. It takes the ultimate vulnerability to share private moments of one’s life. I would imagine that when someone is as famous as Smith, taking that step is even more admirable.
Smith takes us deep into his personal life. He talks about one of the most terrifying moments of his life as a child, when his father punched his mother in the head, resulting in her falling unconscious. His mother endured abuse for a long time before she left for good some years later. Smith shares that his mother and grandmother (whom he affectionally called GiGi), were his shining stars. His grandmother called him “lover boy,” and you have to listen to the book just to hear Smith imitate her voice – or for that matter – listen to him imitate everyone’s voices! It will knock you off your feet – for real!
Although his marriage to Jada Pinkett-Smith has been front and center for many years, Smith shares details about one of their biggest blow-ups. It was during the festivities for Pinkett-Smith’s 40th birthday, which ultimately became a major turning point in their relationship.
Smith became the biggest movie star in the world but still ended up feeling isolated. He decided to do some personal work on himself, which helped him understand his shortcomings and the importance of honoring other people’s feelings. He realized that he, too, had to make some adjustments.
“Change is inevitable. If you’re unable to pivot and adapt to the fluctuating rides of life, you will not enjoy being here. Sometimes, people try to play the cards they wish they had instead of playing the hand they’ve been dealt. The capacity to adjust and improvise is arguably the single most critical human ability.”
– Will Smith
I think most people have grappled with adjusting to change at some point in their lives. But Smith reminds us that it is something that humans can’t avoid. Some people fight change, but they end up losing in the long run. It’s best to lean into it.
As we start out yet another year amidst a pandemic, uncertainty still our portion, we must accept that life as we know it may never be the same. I hope that we can all be bold, face our fears, and play the hand that we’ve all been dealt.
Get this book. Listen to the audio version. Thank me.
In that order.
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