Technology Could Have Fixed That

About 28 years ago, a couple of friends and I were hanging out at my place. The hour grew late, so naturally, they crashed on the floor of my studio apartment. During one of the many conversations that we had that night, one of the friends brought up her pastor. They had a cool relationship, and he was a mentor to her. The friend talked about a woman who was shamelessly chasing her pastor. It was implied that the pursuer was a victim of unrequited love, as the pastor had absolutely no interest in her. Well, cut to the next morning when my friend at the time paged her pastor (yes – these were the days of pagers -aka- beepers). After receiving the notification, the good reverend called back most expeditiously. I looked at my friend’s face and I could tell that something was wrong. As the phone rang, the caller ID flashed the woman’s name – you know, the one who was “throwing herself” at the pastor? Yeah – her.

Well, ever the optimist, my friend proceeds to make small talk and asked where the pastor was. And he said that he was at home.

Surely, my friend thought, there must be some explanation for this hot mess of a situation. And there was. The pastor was at the woman’s house. But he had a good explanation as to why he was there and why he had lied and said that he wasn’t. I don’t remember what his excuse was – but it was interesting.

Needless to say, even after caller ID made its way into our homes, it took some people a while to realize that they could no longer call people incognito. The jig was up. Suddenly, people had to be careful about where they were calling from. Even now, if a person calls and a name other than the caller’s shows up, we think it’s a conspiracy!

Just think about how many games were played pre-caller ID. Many people got their player cards revoked!

There are so many things that I have today that I only wish I could have had when I was younger. I appreciate the comeuppance of this generation and the brilliant gadgets that are being invented now, but where were these people (or their parents) years ago? I get the saying, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” But didn’t we need this stuff years ago, too? I recently took my daughter to a historical home (field trip) and had a nice belly laugh as I watched her attempt to dial a number on a rotary phone! Gen-Z missed the boat on a few things – thankfully!

The world is ever changing. And with those changes come the many adjustments that we have had to make. Sometimes, I think about some of the foolery that I found myself entangled in when I was younger and I think, technology could have fixed that.

The following are at the top of my list:

• Caller ID – Prank callers, stalkers, and liars – oh my! Years ago, phones were still the general lifeline for mankind. The problem is, unless you were psychic or had some other eerie gift of knowing who was calling when the phone rang (like my mother had – but that story is for another day), you just had to wait until you picked up the phone to know who was on the other end. Then, phone companies got really sophisticated and started making phones with built-in answering machines and caller ID. Then came *69 and *67 – the former was the number to dial when someone called you and hung up. When you pressed *69, you were connected to the last number that called your phone. And the latter is the invention that all the Sneaky Petes of the world celebrated. When you hit *67 before you dial a number, it blocks the caller ID and makes the call anonymous. Apparently, this one has stood the test of time.

 

• Period Panties – This one is for the ladies. Shout out to whoever put the time, effort, and energy into creating these! I’m sure that every girl in middle school to high school can appreciate these. Why oh why weren’t these a thing when I was in school? It would have saved many a girl a trip to the bathroom, school nurse, or home. Period panties would have also masked the ultimate sign of Aunt Flo – the jacket worn around the waste. Now, girls don’t have to worry about these little accidents anymore. Nope. They are protected and guaranteed an entire day at school that is worry free. All hail to these life savers!

 

• Robot Vacuums – I must admit that I was probably the biggest sceptic about these. I just couldn’t fathom how a tiny circle that roams freely around the house could clean the floors. Oh, how wrong I was! I have a Shark robot vacuum and it is literally like having an extra pair of hands to assist me with the jobs that are not too strenuous but that I usually end up doing more than I want to – sweeping and vacuuming. The best part about this gadget is that you can control it from your phone from anywhere! You can set a timer for it to begin and also send the vacuum back to the dock right from your phone! This probably would have been the best thing a house full of people could have wished for. But then, my parents had nine little robot vacuums – Us. So, they were good.

 

• Uber – How many times have you been stranded somewhere between the ages of 18-21 because you had to wait for someone else to pick you up? I can recall at least a dozen times when Uber would have saved me the time and trouble. On a date from hell and you just want to go? Now, there’s an app for that! I remember when I was about 19 and I was sitting outside of a guy’s house, waiting for him to get off work. I spoke to him on the phone before I left home, and he asked me to meet him at his place at a certain time. It was the middle of winter in Chicago, so I don’t have to remind you that I had the car running while I waited. And wait I did. For two whole hours. I didn’t have a cell phone (duh!), so I had to sit there in my car like an idiot. Well, I ran out of gas while sitting there. After I couldn’t take the cold anymore and the guy still wasn’t home, I was forced to walk to the fire station, which happened to be a few doors down, and call my father to come to the rescue. My father had to bring gas for my car for me to get home! That hellish night could have been prevented – on many levels.

 

• Instacart – Remember the days when you actually had to leave the house and get the things you needed whether you felt like it or not? I can recall the numerous times that I had to drag myself to the grocery store because I was out of milk. Or bread. Or everything! I grew up in Chicago, so there was no Peapod then – and even if there was, I probably couldn’t afford it then anyway! When I was 22, I mostly shopped at Aldi. Yeah, before it was the cool, rebranded Aldi that has all the organic produce. And I had to actually go into the store! Those cluttered, crowded, isles made me wonder how this chain even kept its doors open – much less be the go-to for a young twenty-something like me. The prices. Yup. That was the reason. But I also shopped at other stores because there were some things that I just could not buy from Aldi. So, I went to those stores, too. The same day. Back-to-back. Some days, it would take me three hours to do my grocery shopping. Good thing I was young and had the time. I get tired just thinking about this now. Fortunately, these days are long gone.

 

• Alexa – When I was in high school and had to do a report on a country in Africa for my world geography class, I had to grab one of the encyclopedias off the shelf – the big books with the tiny print – like from the 19^th Okay, they probably weren’t that old, but you get the point. I had to do the work. If the encyclopedias that we had at home didn’t have what I needed, I had to go to the library. Had to leave the house just to find out the current population of Ethiopia! What kind of foolishness? If you remember doing this, the memory either makes you laugh or cry. Maybe both, depending on the day.

 

• Google – Do you know how many arguments people had back in the day over the silliest things? Back in 1995, I worked with a guy who was an arrogant know-it-all. I mean, who hasn’t? Well, one day, Dorothy Dandridge and Lena Horne came up in our conversation – probably because I was obsessed with movies from the Golden Era of Hollywood (1939-1960) back then and had watched Carmen Jones for the first time. This guy was convinced that Dorothy Dandridge was older than Lena Horne. He stood in his splendid ignorance to the point where I just gave up and let him have it. I’m so glad that people like him can no longer be loud and wrong.

 

• Amazon – I stand with my sisters across the world as we band together in unity. Yes – I am of the Amazon tribe. Prime is my love language. Next day delivery is the key to my heart. I love shopping online like most people these days. But I wasn’t blessed with the patience of Job. I need my stuff NOW! I understand that I am one of the people who helped make Jeff Bezos the man he is today, and I like myself. I first discovered Amazon as a graduate student 20 years ago. I was ever so grateful for all the “used” books that saved me some money. And now, I am grateful for same day delivery. God is good. All the time.

 

Technology has fixed a plethora of things for all of us. I won’t say that I can’t imagine my life now without smart phones and bank apps. I can. And I don’t like that image. I’ve lived that life already and I, like you, didn’t know anything different. Now that the world has become easier to navigate, I’m just waiting to see what the next big thing will be.