I Thought Redemption Was for Those Who Are Actually Sorry!

Considering R. Kelly’s recent racketeering and sex trafficking conviction, let me preface this post by saying:

1. I have never seen the infamous tape.
2. I have absolutely no desire in doing so.

There have been mixed reactions to Kelly’s conviction – some that are not surprising and some that are just plain sickening. I respect opposing viewpoints on a number of topics and issues. But I have had it with people coming to Kelly’s defense. This isn’t the time to be comparing his crimes and misgivings to those of other sleezy, sick predators. This conviction is about Kelly, who has gotten away with being a monster for way too long. And for those who think that my choosing the word “monster” is too harsh, take it up with the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Since Kelly’s conviction, people have been constantly comparing his actions to others, justifying his actions by blaming the victims and their parents, and downplaying his actions by claiming that he can be redeemed. Please! Miss me with that foolishness! How can Kelly be “redeemed” when he hasn’t once taken responsibility for any of his crimes?

We all remember the Gayle King interview in which Kelly conjured up some tears in his attempt to gain sympathy and further deny any wrongdoing. That certainly wasn’t the portrait of a person who was the least bit repentant. If I’m not mistaken, that (a contrite heart) is a prerequisite for redemption. Not once has he shown a shred of remorse – in fact, he feels justified in his wrongdoing! So why then are people focusing on his redemption? I mean, let him admit to the misconduct and beg forgiveness before offering up prayers of redemption and cries of empathy. Also, let him marinate in prison for a while – he hasn’t even been sentenced yet!

Like many of you, I watched the series Surviving R. Kelly (Lifetime). It is an eye-opening revelation about Kelly and the many underaged girls he assaulted, manipulated, and imprisoned. While those may seem like harsh allegations, I believe they are fitting, given Kelly’s long history of preying on his unsuspecting victims.

It was difficult to watch these women (many of whom were underage girls when they first encountered Kelly) recount those events without being overcome with emotion. It was horrifying. I respect their bravery and willingness to come forward in hopes of shining a light on what Kelly was allowed to get away with for decades. Their stories are beyond powerful.

Why was it so hard for the women to get through these stories? They were traumatized. Plain and simple. It was easy for me to see that.  But there were many who accused the women of “putting on an act” for clout and book deals.

It upsets me when people discredit victims, especially when it takes just about all they have inside of them to come forward in the first place. Let’s stay there for a moment. When people choose to step up and speak the truth, they risk receiving all kinds of backlash. They risk being ostracized and branded as liars. They forfeit their privacy and any chances of having a “normal” life again. And their families often pay the price as well. So, their decision to come forward takes heart.

Even after hearing these women recall their experiences and the sordid details of their abuse, many self-proclaimed die-hard fans of Kelly refused to partake in muting his music. I have heard people say, “I can separate the man from his music.” I suppose there are people who can do this, but I am not one of them. I did not have a problem muting R. Kelly.

Kelly was called a “musical genius” in the docuseries (Surviving R. Kelly) more times that I care to count. It’s as if the world had to be convinced somehow of how easy it was for these girls (and their parents) to fall into his snare. That maybe if he had only been marginally talented, surely none of the victims would have been enticed. Utter nonsense!

What bothers me the most is the unlikelihood of Kelly getting away with his crimes if his victims were White. Unfortunately, the world chose to look the other way because of this detail. Black and Brown girls being harmed, kidnapped, and murdered doesn’t seem to garner the attention that it deserves in America.

It is unfair for anyone to be above the law where violence is concerned. But people like Kelly have used their power and influence to get what they want. They have also used their privilege of affluence to keep their enablers around. There is no way that Kelly could have gotten away with his crimes for as long as he did were it not for those in his camp and on his payroll. When people are complicit in this type of behavior, no one wins.

Since Kelly’s conviction, some people have blamed the parents of the underaged girls. Saying that they should also be called out. While I’m not absolving the parents of their complicities completely (especially those who were fully aware of Kelly’s background), they are not the ones who are to blame. He is. Period.

I believe in redemption. And there is no question that anyone can be a recipient of it. But I think a person must first accept or admit that they need redeeming.

So, instead of hoping that Kelly gets the “help that he clearly needs,” why not wish the same thing for his victims? Aren’t they deserving of that unrelenting support? In my eyes they are. Perhaps now, they can breathe a little easier – knowing that he is the one locked away this time instead of them.

Thankfully, it seems that justice has finally prevailed.