Every year during this time, people all over the world begin to assess their lives in an attempt to find something to be thankful for. For many of us, that charge is easy. For some, however, it is a heart-breaking reminder of the challenges they have faced all year.
From the time we were in kindergarten making those turkeys on paper plates by tracing our hands, we have been encouraged to not only eat that big bird with feathers, but we were also challenged to think about what we were most thankful for that year. One by one, we recited the cliché list of the people we were most thankful to have in our lives and the things that we cherished most.
The amount of change that has taken place since I made that hand-traced turkey with construction paper feathers is not lost on me. For starters, some of those cherished family members are now gone. I have long since moved out of the childhood home where I once felt safe and comfortable. And I have had a plethora of experiences that changed me and reshaped the way I count my blessings.
So, what am I thankful for? I must admit that my list may not be out of the ordinary, though some may find it to be somewhat odd. As a 51-year-old woman, however, life has taught me a thing or three – and I know that some people may never give them a second thought or ever perceive these things to be grand. Be that as it may, I now fully understand what it means to be thankful. I may not be alone in my gratitude for the following, but maybe I can help bring some perspective to those who might be struggling this year.
- Good Health – Too many people take this one for granted. No one ever really values their health until they get sick. I don’t know about you, but every day I don’t have a headache is a win for me. I don’t suffer from migraines or have other physical ailments. I just know that chronic pain is a way of life for some people. It may seem silly to be happy about pain free days, but I’m sure if we ask people who are acquainted with pain daily, they will beg to differ. I am thankful for good health and “the activity of my limbs.” The latter has been a part of a general testimony of church folks for years. Years ago, they were just words, and I found no value in the true meaning of this statement. Now, I get it.
- My Mother – Now, I know that most people are thankful for their mothers. However, with every year that passes, I can’t help but to cherish every moment with mine. My mom will turn 88 in a few months. She has buried a husband of fifty years and two of her nine children (sons) – not to mention the many other close relatives and friends that she loved over the years. She is a pillar of strength and a woman of unrelenting faith. She was diagnosed with cancer at age 79 and conquered it with grace. She never thought for a moment that she would succumb to it. She simply believed that she would prevail over cancer like every other obstacle in her life. It’s common for women to reject the impending doom of turning into their mothers. It’s true, we inherit their good and not-so-good qualities. There are days when I feel like my mother is possessing my body and my mind. I spent years trying to do a sort of self-exorcism to rid myself of her ways, but I found that it was no use. And I’m good with that.
- Freedom – Perhaps this one crept up this year because I happen to be teaching a literature class about the effects of chattel slavery on African American culture. But I think it’s something deeper than that. There are places in the world where people still are not free. They are not allowed to live their truth, wear what they want, get an education, or pursue their dreams. I am fortunate to live my life on my terms. It’s pretty awesome.
- My Gifts – I believe that everyone was born with certain gifts. I know what mine are, and I am committed to tapping into them even more as I get older. I don’t compare my gifts to anyone else’s. I am in a place of celebrating who I am and being thankful for what I was given. Everyone has something to add to the world. I always think about a quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Don’t die with your music still in you.” No – I don’t plan to at all. I’m going to continue writing symphonies, even if I’m the only one who enjoys them.
- Wisdom – My mother used to say that some people have “bought sense.” Like you, I used to wonder what that meant – not to mention why she always had to speak in Southern parables. I now know that this saying means that people who seem to give the best advice and know just what to say to us when we need it, earned that knowledge. Yup! They “paid” for it by enduring hardships they faced in their own lives. So, I value the wisdom that I have because it was expensive. And I don’t do frivolous purchases.
I am grateful for many other things – big and small. I keep a gratitude journal, and it is full of odes and props. My friends, family, my home, my career, a full fridge, heat on a cold day, air on a hot day – have all made their way to the pages of my journal this year. There’s no such thing as a blessing being too small to appreciate.
Thanksgiving may mean something different to all of us. Whatever it means to you, I just hope you reflect on what is most important to you during this season.