Tarana Burke is the founder of the Me Too movement. I recently finished her memoir, Unbound and I am amazed by her bravery, tenacity, and all-around Black girl magic. In honor of her story and the many girls and women around the world who can utter the words, “me too,” I am sharing this short story I wrote many years ago about a nameless character and her colorful family – with a few updates. The story takes place on Christmas day, so I thought the timing was right.
The Clanging Bells
Christmas. Supposed to be this grand old holiday for all? Hmph! For my family, it ain’t nothing but a green light for them to act like fools! Always something! Take my sister Kathy – every year she draggin’ some low-life in here, actin’ like they all in love and ain’t known ‘em but a hot minute! Then there’s my brother Charles, or excuse me, Char-roles… I have to say it like that ‘cause him and his wife swear they float ten feet above everybody else. Shoot, they gon’ come in here with their high and mighty selves, with those prissy kids of theirs in tow. You would think with all the money they got that they would at least be giving out some decent gifts. Please!
Then, there is my sister Linda – deep, philosophical Linda, who is always takin’ some class that’s got huh trippin’ and tryin’ to school everybody. This past Christmas though, in all its glory, turned out to be different. Believe me when I say – nobody was prepared for the loop that was thrown to us that day. It’s been almost three months, and I’m still in shock.
I was the first one to arrive at the house ‘cause of course those lazy sisters of mine always come just in time to plant their feet under the table. Love to eat those two, but you can’t pay ‘em to cook, let alone wash a dish! Papa was in the livin’ room as always with the TV watchin’ him. And Mama was in the kitchen doin’ her holiday dance. She constantly twirled from the stove to the table, and to the fridge – all in a graceful movement of time. I walked into the kitchen and was greeted with a hug and kiss from Mama.
“Merry Christmas, baby! You can start peelin’ those eggs for the potato salad.”
“Anything else? Looks like you done handled most everything already.”
“Well, you know me. I love to cook! And I can’t stand to mess around and wait too late!”
The doorbell rang and it was Linda, so quite naturally I ran into the hallway to grab a dictionary off the shelf.
“Hey, y’all! Ooh it smells good in here!”
“Merry Christmas to you too! Oops I forgot. You all into the Kwanzaa thang this year.”
“That’s right. But of course you commercialized Black folks are still suspended in the realms of this flashy shindig of a holiday.”
“Mighty funny you never have a problem eatin’ this “commercialized” food!”
“Yeah, but not to celebrate some gift givin’ side show. When my mama cooks, I come.” She bowed her head, pretending to reverence Mama.
“Whatever. You always…”
“That’s enough you two!” Mama had to interrupt us before a knock-down-drag-out, which is inevitable whenever Linda and I are within ten feet of each other.
“This is supposed to be a merry time. Linda, go ahead and start settin’ the table before Charles, Jeanine, and the kids get here. And you lil miss – keep peelin’ those eggs!
I had to listen to Mama, or else I would have emptied both barrels on Linda. Oooh she irks me! Mind you, all of us have been to college. Well, I’m almost finished. And yet she acts like she’s the only one in this family with some sense! Anyway, not too long after Mama called a ‘cease fire’ Char-roles and his aristocrats came through the door.
“Well, well, if it ain’t the Huxtables,” I attempted to mumble, but Mama heard me anyway.
“Hush, chile! Go on in there and greet Jeanine and the kids while I take these pies out the oven.”
But before I could, Char-roles was walkin’ in the kitchen.
“Hey, Sis. Merry Christmas.” He turned his body slowly. “Mother.” He bowed to Mama with his hands clasped. Oh yeah – he doesn’t hug us when Jeanine is with him, I think she believes that we all got Ordinary-Black-Folks-Disease’ and she’s afraid of catchin’ it! And of course, Mama lets it slide every time, but me? I wouldn’t be me if I did!
“Hey, big brother!” I screamed nice and loud to be sure Jeanine was tuning in. And I threw my arms around his neck for good measure. “Come ‘own ‘roun heah! Hah y’all been doin?”
“She feelin’ okay, Mama?” Char-roles asked with his nose turned up.
“Yeah. You know how silly she act sometime.”
“Hellooooo? I’m right heeeeeeere. Y’all don’t have to talk about me like I’m nooooooot.” I sang the words. Mama hates when I do that.
“Chile, go on!” Mama shooed me away.
Linda was walking back and forth humming “Ain’t Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me Around.” After Mama had taken the last pie out of the oven, everybody was finally seated at the table in the dining room. Kathy hadn’t made her ritualistic entrance with her latest fling yet. Papa had ‘arisen’ from his nap and was now seated at the head of the oak table that his mother gave to us years before. He spoke up after snoozin’ all afternoon.
“Luella, this sho looks good. Mmph! That’s why I married ya mama, y’all. ‘Cause she was the only gal that knew the way to my heart! Heh, heh…”
Jeanine batted her eyes and extended her mouth into a Cheshire cat grin. I can’t stand phony people! Mama laughed, all the while blushing like a stranger had just given her the compliment.
“Well thank ya, honey,” she responded to Papa and giggling like a schoolgirl.
Then of course, Linda had to add her two cents.
“Personally, I can’t see myself slavin’ over a hot stove for a man. I mean – it only perpetuates the stigma of the woman’s place being in the kitchen.”
“Well maybe that’s why you’re not married, Linda,” Char-roles added. “You can’t expect to have a husband and never cook for him. Just look at my Jeanine. She is a strong, independent woman, a great cook, and has no problem doing it for her family.”
And so, it went.
“Now Charles, I wasn’t even talkin’ to you,” Linda barked, snappin’ her neck around in his direction. “But since you brought it up, everybody and they mama can’t be June Cleaver, Betty Crocker, and Kamala Harris, all rolled into one!”
“Pardon me?” Jeanine eyed Linda closely.
“Honey, don’t even bother.” Char-roles said in a hushed tone to Jeanine – after which she rolled her eyes up and let out a deep sigh – but said nothing.
“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Linda continued of course. “Some strong woman you got! Being pulled along like some puppet on a string. That’s just the crap that needs to be eradicated from the depths of the minds of our people.”
Mama finally intervened.
“That’s enough! These chirren don’t need to see y’all act like this every time we get together! Now stop it!”
I just laughed ‘cause number one, Char-roles’ ‘chirren’ were used to these fiascos whenever they came around. And number two, Mama said the same thing she did every year, verbatim. But I didn’t get in on it. Anyway, the doorbell rang, and I had to get it since everybody else was well – distracted. When I opened the door, I had to do a double-take. I wasn’t sure at first because she had her coat on, but then my eyes focused, and there Kathy stood… in a Nun’s habit!
“Merry Christmas! Well don’t just stand there. Let me in! She strolled in the door with ease. “And close your mouth before somethin’ flies in it! I’m just in time I see. Mmmm. . . it smells good in here.”
Finally, I couldn’t take it no more.
“Kathy, what on Earth do you have on? This is Christmas girl – not Halloween!”
“Now see Lord, it won’t be the lack of sex, but ignorance like this that I’ll have to stay on my knees for.” She said looking up – to God, I guess. “For your information miss thing, I have been a Nun for two months now. You’ve been away at school, so you didn’t know. But then, nobody has seen me in this attire yet. I can’t wait!” She picked up her pace and headed for the dining room, but I jumped in the way.
“Well let me go in and warn them first before somebody has a heart attack!” I was all too serious.
“Girl, move out the way!” She pushed me aside and continued boldly through the house.
We entered the dining room, and David and Tiffany busted out laughin’ at their crazy auntie!
“Merry Christmas everybody! Sorry I’m late, but I was down at the homeless shelter helping with the dinners.”
Papa had a mouth full of dressing but couldn’t resist speaking with his eyes buggin’ out of his head.
“Lawd, what the devuh you got ‘on, gal?”
“If this ain’t the trick to end all tricks.” Linda said standing up. Char-roles and Jeanine sat there speechless. And mama tried to bring some calm to the chaos.
“Katherine Lorraine Bell! What you mean by comin’ in here dressed like this upsettin’ everybody?”
“Mama, you know I told you that I became a Nun two months ago.”
“Chile you know I ain’t bid mo’ paid you no attention. Lawd knows how you always tryin’ sumpn’ or nuther, but you done gone too far now. We ain’t even Catholic!”
By this time, I was crying from laughing so hard.
“Well maybe y’all not, but I know that I found my calling. This was the only way that I could deal with the issues I had. Shoot, you complained every time I brought a new boyfriend around, and now you can’t accept me tryin’ to be holy?”
“Kathy, findin’ the Lawd is one thang, but you mean to stand there and tell me you done give up men forever?”
“Now this I would love to see.” Linda said as she held her hand over her mouth, looking Kathy up and down.
“Linda, mind yo business for once! Better yet, get some business! You got two master’s degrees and you still ain’t got a clue!” Kathy let loose on Linda. “See Lord, please help me to bridle my tongue and ignore ignorance. She repeated this several times, again – looking up to the ceiling – to God, I guess.
“Kathy, I can respect you wanting something better, but this is not you. You can’t be serious about this. You were born and raised a Baptist!” Char-roles said in his most solemn tone.
“Charles, please! And while we’re on the subject of what’s “not us,” you was born right here on the South Side of Chicago like the rest of us. Just why you think you was raised off the coasts of Maine somewhere is beyond me!”
Then it happened. Char-roles and his family threatened to leave…again.
“That’s it! Jeanine, get our coats. I don’t have to put up with this.”
“Go ahead, Charles – run away like you always do. But just so you know, I wouldn’t be so screwed up if it wasn’t for Barry – Your best friend who practically lived with us growing up.”
“Barry? What are you talking about?”
“Oh, surprise, surprise. He never told you that he started raping me when I was 13 years old. It didn’t stop until you went away to college when I was 16.”
Mama got up from the table and ran over to Kathy who had by this time burst into tears.
“Baby, what you sayin’? How come you never told me this?”
“Because I was too ashamed, mama. Because I was young and scared and everybody around here looked at Barry like he was some star. And because he played basketball and all the girls loved him. So, I just didn’t.”
For the first time since we had all been in one room, nobody spoke at all. Then Linda broke the silence.
“I know she’s telling the truth because. . . it happened to me too.” Linda faced our brother with sincere eyes. “Charles, you remember when I told you after the first time, and you confronted Barry, and he denied it? Well, he never touched me again after that, but I guess he started with Kathy and never stopped. Because she didn’t tell.”
“Well, whar’ is he now? ‘Cause ahm gon’ kill dat son of a. . .”
“Leroy, please! Mama interrupted Papa. “Let’s just calm down – everybody! Jeanine, take the kids into the guest room, darlin.” Mama turned back to the table and faced us. “Now, we got to discuss this like human beings.”
“Mama, that’s just it.” Kathy said with a shaky voice. “We have never been able to discuss nothin’ in this family. I wanted to tell you and Papa so many times after I got older. And for years I felt dirty and unworthy of true love because I allowed it to happen.”
“Now baby it was not your fault. And you can’t blame yourself or your brother. Barry is the one to blame.”
Mama held her middle daughter in her arms. Linda and Char-roles joined in and hugged them both. I stood there watching what seemed to be a miracle unfolding before me. My family was actually being civil to one another. For the first time in years, the Bells were finally ringing with love.
So, as you can see, it was a Christmas to be remembered. We found in each other a newness that we will cherish forever. Kathy is seeking professional help (and has left the ‘order’). Linda has decided to pursue a doctorate degree in counseling psychology. Charles is visiting Mama and Papa on a weekly basis. And me… Well, let’s just say that I’m still being me.